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Scientist Poop and the Epic Fail

Olaf — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 15:42:51 +0000

Our son recently contracted Streptococcus within his person. We’re all familiar with such things, but the signs of this particular infection alluded us. We knew he had a stomach ache, but little else. The stomach ache became chronic and Balthazar the harbinger used is poo oracle to let us know something was truly wrong. We found out later in the week that Balthazar had experienced several “Scientist Poops,” which turns out to be what the slow-minded adults refer to as “diarrhea.” I asked Balthazar why he called it this, and he simply said it was because it “looked like Scientist.” I still don’t really know what this means, though I imagine any hopes that he may one day become a brilliant scientist are now futile.

In a completely unrelated story…

Humans give off subtle signs of emotional and physical wellness through involuntary interactions of the psyche. Some of these things manifest themselves as physical aberrations, though primarily they go unnoticed by all but the most well-attuned.

My lovely wife, mother of our two children, gave me these subtle signs recently in a way that could not go unnoticed. At some ungodly hour of the wee, my wife woke me with slurring speech to notify me of my duty for the baby girl in the house. She had been working late that night, and had probably only just gotten to sleep an hour earlier when Sorscha woke her. I took on the charge with no questions. When I reached for Sorscha, I found that she was rather soaked, as well as the pad she lay upon. During these cold nights, her pajamas take the form of what’s known as a Sleep Sack. It’s a wonderful invention in which you simply bag your child in a zipped enclosure and allow them to steam gently in their own moisture. Some (ours) include the ever-helpful swaddling wrap that Velcros tightly around the child so as to prevent escape and recognition as anything but a human-faced grub. When I opened her sack, I found that she was completely naked and a loose diaper was balled-up in the corner of her little sauna. It was as if the changing included such activities as:

Open zipped-enclosure
Toss in diaper and seal tightly
Gently shake to activate absorption.

Needless to say, I performed the cleanup, fed her, and reintroduced her to a drier version of her bed.

And the message was well-received that my wife was rather beyond simply being “tired.” Sleep deprivation can do some interesting things to a person, but thankfully humans have an innate method by which these things can be communicated.

Sorscha the Serious

Olaf — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 20:09:58 +0000

We’re starting to see a more wakeful baby now. She’s staying awake during longer periods of the day – only to nurse relentlessly upon her mother. She has gained a good amount of weight and shows all signs of being a very healthy girl. Of some uniqueness, she’s quite grunty. We get the impression that she’s largely displeased with being awake. However, she’s still not very fussy. As we’re seeing more of her eyes now, I think they’re going to be green/hazel like ours.

A Baby Changes Everything

Olaf — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 21:48:20 +0000

Remarkably, the biggest change at the Gradin household is simply in our perception. There are all sorts of things that change when a new child is born into your family. Your free time dries up, your bank account empties, you become more selfless. But when you already have an older child, the thing we noticed was that the older child stopped being a baby in our eyes. I never realized how big he was – how big his hands were. It’s harder to carry him sleeping into his bed at night. This new addition, so small and defenseless, makes us realize in ways you can’t truly convey to anyone that she’s the only baby in the house. Perhaps Balthazar became “our first child.” Even though he’s only five years old, I sense that he’s more in charge of his destiny and in self discovery now. Sorscha, on the other hand, seems to have so much more malleable potential tied up in her.

I’m doing my best to ensure that I don’t lose sight of the treasures still to come in our first-born while our attention is diverted to this little girl. It can be a struggle keeping up with everything at home while still making time for me and Balthazar to play the games we used to play. Easing that, he’s recently really gotten into board games. I can keep an eye (and ear) on Sorscha while we play board games without being too distracted to give him my attention. It’s also easier to allocate this time, as our outside time has been cut short for the coming winter.

This experience of having our second child – some 5 years apart from our first – has given us new wisdom that I feel one can only gain through life.

One cannot fully appreciate what happens to the being at the birth of your first child. You undergo a transformation unlike anything before or after that moment. I remember seeing a baby born vaginally when I was an adolescent, and the experience gave me some spine-tingling chills that hinted at this fact. When we had our first child, the internal shift from my awareness of self: man, husband, child, protector, supplier, etc., went spiraling around and may have momentarily just been forgotten. It didn’t matter anymore. The thing I remember most – and perhaps something that sums up a great deal of this feeling – is that I lost my sense of invulnerability. Perhaps it’s passed on to the next generation – much to a parent’s chagrin.

Now at the birth of our second child, we see the real development of our first. Less of the initial surge of fatherhood that fills you, though a new awareness of everything that can’t be ignored.

I really mean to say that there are some lessons in life that we’re taught, but can never be appreciated until experienced. You were told that you’d one day look back at your school days and realize you were having the time of your life. You’re told that a child will change you. I’ve heard that time flies as you get older. “One day you’ll understand…” All of these things go unheeded as our elders press them into our heads. Being at the crossroads of naivety and understanding, I want to impart a sort of enlightenment to those behind me on the path. But who am I kidding? I’m just saying the same thing…

Sorscha Valkyrie

Olaf — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 03:43:48 +0000

The latest member of our family made her gooey entrance around noon today. She cleans up well, however. Balthazar is so happy to be a big brother, and Sorscha’s mother and I are, of course, completely in love with the new girl. She’s such a beautiful, healthy girl; I couldn’t ask for anything more. Mommy is doing very well after her surgery too. She’ll be getting up tomorrow to begin her walking recovery and we should be heading home in a few days.

Sorscha Valkyrie Gradin weighed in at 6lbs. 11oz. and measured 20.5″ in length. She’s capable of thawing icebergs with a look, but has used her powers for good to warm the heart of every soul she meets.

Offspring, Part Deaux

Olaf — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 01:42:20 +0000

In nine days, we’ll be a family of four, having welcomed a new baby girl into the Gradin household on the 24th of this month…at 6:00am. That’s how we role. My wife likes to plan for the unplannable. However, she has made certain assurances for this life-event, and I have little doubt that this date and time are correct.

We’re all looking very much forward to meeting her. You might find yourself wondering what her name is going to be, but you will keep on doing so. So far, absolutely zero people in the known universe (besides Amy and I) are aware of her name. There’s a chance that an advanced race of telepaths may have already discovered our secret. It’s a game we played with Balthazar’s name as well. The reason is largely because we’re not interested in hearing anyone’s doubts, concerns, suggestions, or comments otherwise on our name choice(s). It’s hardest with family, which always has a certain lasting psychological and emotional consequence on the mind. While the name is very important, it is of little matter what that specific name is, really. Once a child’s name is set, it’s generally hard to imagine that child by any other name. That said, the name is nothing more than a parental choice – a right. It’s perhaps the first of many experiments that will imbue your legacy, because what are children if not the parents’ result from hypothesis and experiment.

No doubt many of you wait with bated breath. Still others dread the possibilities. Maybe in the end it will be no big surprise at all.

The First Day at School

Olaf — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 17:58:12 +0000

Yesterday was Balthazar’s first day of school. It started early that morning and the whole family was up for the affair. We drove him in and walked him to his class. It’s one of those “big steps” in a child’s life. I am excited about the idea of him becoming independent and beginning his formal education. He’s growing up and I look forward to all the things we’ll do together in the years to come. Amy, on the other hand, has a distinctly different take on her little baby’s first steps in the big world. Her experience was miserable as a child, and didn’t apparently get much better in later years. She hated school, and she doesn’t want Balthazar to have a hard time either. Balthazar began his journey into the world with a brave heart. I was proud of him for being so courageous in the face of the unknown – I had very few worries.

After school, Balthazar was to take a bus over to his after-school care with some friends – apparently more like 20. We knew it was a lot to manage in one day, so we agreed to pick him up early from there. He barely managed to get out some vague details about his day before he passed out completely in his car seat. The guy was worn flat-out by his adventures. It turns out his day was a mixture of fear and fun. We weren’t able to convey the amount of time he’d spend at school, though technically it was less than what he spent in pre-K and after-school before. He got scared and cried a little bit early in the day. After some lunch and recess time, it sounded like he came to better terms with it.

As parents, we hate to know that our child was upset and afraid. You’re completely helpless when they’re away and having these feelings. I guess that’s what it is that parents really get upset over when their child gains some independence. You really feel the need to continue helping them and holding their hands when obstacles arrive, but you just have to let them make a go at it themselves. You do everything you can to ensure that they’re going to do good in the world and that they’ll have every manner of protection at their disposal, then you send them out the door to see how you did. It surprised me a lot that he had an emotional break-down at school. Not that that’s unordinary by any means, I just thought that he would have such a great time.

Today is Friday and he’s off on his second day at school. As a testament to his courage, he said yesterday that he wanted to go again. Even though there were some rough spots to contend with, Balthazar has stood back up to give it another try. I believe that he’ll have done much better this time, and he may even begin doing the things that we all loved at school; making friends.

Top 5: Things You Wanted to Know About Me

Olaf — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 14:41:50 +0000

The meme is apparently now a lost word; used only by uncool dads and hipless (as in the lack of being hip) half-wits. I’m getting on in years, relatively speaking, and am inclined to use such lingo as to embarrass those who would be so easily offended.

For lack of better alternatives, I bring to you the current meme on my plate. Young whipper-snappers may be unfamiliar with this word, but it is essentially an Internet chain-letter. Spazzmanda passed this on to me from her blog, where she refers to such activities as “tagging.” I always thought that was a cultural art of defacement by way of graffiti, but what does an old fart like me know.

The Rules: Rules are posted at the beginning. At the end of the post, the player tags 5 people and posts their names. Then the player goes to each of the “named” people’s blogs and leaves a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged and asking them to read your blog. If you’ve been tagged, you do the same, letting the person who tagged you know when you’ve posted your answer. Your answer, of course, is the answer to the following questions. Here we go!

1. What was I doing 10 years ago? One decade ago I was two months from my 2nd wedding anniversary with my lovely wife, Amy. We had no children, though we had pets. We were in our first year at our first house together (and current house). Amy was still in school at North Georgia College and State University (though it may not have been a State University at the time), and I was working for…Whittman-Hart, perhaps. I was a consultant beginning to cut my teeth on information systems security. It would be my primary job and objective for the next several years. I registered gradin.com for the first time – it was a standard 2-year registration and cost me $70.00 (I think my last registration was $8.95 for a year). I was finally able to access my awesome Mindspring account web space using my rocking X2 US Robotics Sportster (externel) modem via www.gradin.com. I was working in Allaire’s Cold Fusion, though I couldn’t afford a license for the server to host my own site using their technology. I used Allaire’s Homesite as my primary editor with Photoshop and Fractal Painter as my graphics packages. I think I was trying to get onto Bellsouth’s xDSL beta program, but with no luck due to my distance from the carrier. I was, however, involved with Wachovia’s beta online account access. It was a glorified BBS – awesome!

2. What are 5 things on my to-do list today? I’ve got ESX hosts to convert to 3.5i, installable. SAN storage to attach, and VMs to migrate both through traditional migrations, as well as the new and improved Storage VMotion. I also have some process proposal documentation to get done for the collected efforts of the Norcross lab engineering team, as well as that of our Hillsboro office. I hope to get some ping-pong in at lunch, ride my bike 10 miles back to my car, and then facilitate a drum circle for 100 people in northeast Georgia with some friends.

3. Snacks I enjoy: Have you tried my nuts? They’re salty and dimensionally variant. I enjoy the texture especially, though others are just happy I am able to share – there’s more than enough for everyone to enjoy! I also like beef jerky and granola bars.

4. Places I’ve lived: I’ve had a good spread in my life, though as of late my homestead has been very static. I began in Ocean Springs, MI; moved to Plano, TX, and then jumped to San Diego, CA shortly thereafter. We moved a couple of times there, but finally moved out the state to Tuscon, AZ. From there, we departed for Waycross, GA, and then onto Gainesville, GA where I live now. I’ve moved several times throughout both of these places in Georgia, and I’ve been here the longest amount of time so far.

5. Things I would do if I were a billionaire: This is actually the title of a post I’ve been working on for a while now. It’s a recurring theme throughout our decade+ of marriage, and one that will most likely continue to develop and mature in time. The most boring thing I think of from our list is to pay-off debt and acquire some commercial real estate to lease. There’s money accumulation prospects in that, so we would do well to set ourselves for the inevitable loss of said billions through the frivolous purchases from our list. There are two more intriguing opportunities: 1) Develop a waterfront district on Lake Lanier – a boardwalk with shops and dining – that aids in the lake’s restoration efforts, as well as providing some awareness about the lake’s ecosystem. 2) Convert an old mill on the outskirts of town into a turn-of-the-century arts and crafts guild. History tells us that these guilds are mere congregations of passionate people in the arts and crafts and generally have no ability to sustain themselves financially.

5 “Tagged”

VMworld 2007 – San Francisco

Olaf — Fri, 14 Sep 2007 01:55:56 +0000

VMworld is a technical conference virtualization-vendor VMware puts on every year. Last year, we did this trip in Los Angeles. The conference was really good this year and took place at the Moscone Center in San Francisco, California. At the VMworld Party event, convention goers were given first-class treatment on Treasure Island where a taste of SF was provided, circus entertainment (my people), and two live bands played. Wonderbread 5, a Jackson 5 funky tribute band, opened for Smash Mouth. Wow! Both of these bands played a good show. Having never heard of Wonderbread 5, they were a surprising treat. They did a very funny version of Vanilla Ice’s Ice Ice Baby, mixing in Queen’s Under Pressure for the last half. Smash Mouth performed awesomely as expected. The crowd loved them. They got a really good response from doing a cover of Van Halen’s Running with the Devil as well as another Van Halen tune that eludes me. Kind of surprising considering Smash Mouth’s own claim to fame – I just didn’t expect that they did covers too.

San Francisco is a different place than I had imagined. I emerged from the Bay Area Rapid Transit system on Powell and Market St. The area was a mass of people – tourists, locals, and vagrants. It was an awesome sight, one exemplary to the conceptual hustle and bustle of city life. It didn’t take me any time to get my bearings and head towards the hotel. Having settled in, I took a walk to grab lunch and learn the area. Within my first hour of time in San Francisco, I found my way into the rougher parts of town (affectionately known as
“tender loin”) and was offered drugs. Maybe I shouldn’t have worn the tie-dye shirt. I hit a hole in the wall Thai joint for lunch and it was really tasty. It was literally a hole-in-the-wall. I had to turn my body slightly to fit into the narrow corridor leading into the main area.

I was comparing everything to city’s I’ve been in before, and I wasn’t find a lot of direct correlations. The number one differentiating factor was the people. The locals of San Francisco are so incredibly nice. Not southern charm nice, familiar nice. Locals were so willing to engage total strangers in genuine conversation everywhere I went. If you were on the streets looking a little lost or confused, a local will stop to help you out with directions or advice. If you’re out eating in a local restaurant, you can bet that someone will enter into real “getting to know you” banter. Thursday night was probably one of our better examples of this. Isi and I walked from Pacific Heights on Filmore to Marina and back. We joined up with another work associate for dinner on Filmore and chatted with a couple from the neighborhood for an hour or more. Upon their advice, we trucked over to a (literal) hole-in-the-wall bar on Lombard and Van Ness, the Black Horse London Pub. Locals only and really nice people. I don’t drink at all, but this is the kind of bar a teetotaler can enjoy. From there, we took the group and a patron from Black Horse over to Silver Cloud karaoke bar. It was our first karaoke bar that fit our expectations – no private rooms, lots of bad singers, and late hours. In the end, it wasn’t actually that great. The microphones were either really bad or turned down too low. There was an obnoxiously drunk guy dancing in a manner that makes everyone uncomfortable – possibly dangerous to the patrons that were within flailing range. We left before getting in much singing to close out our last day in California.

Next year this convention splits in two. There will be one in Cannes, France (VMworld Europe) and another in Las Vegas, Nevada. I would love to go to either, though I’m leaning towards Cannes as a preference. I doubt that it would really be an option – I don’t even know if it’s intended to host the American audience. If the opportunity presents itself, I know both of these places would be spots Amy would really like to visit – boring conference or not. To afford Cannes, we may have to stay in hostels the whole time and eat at Le McDonalds.

The First Camping Trip

Olaf — Tue, 31 Jul 2007 18:39:25 +0000

While Balthazar’s first camping trip was actually over just before 10:00pm, he did get some good exposure to camp-life and the adventures that surround it.

Balthazar has been going on about a camping trip for days now. We’re not exactly sure where he picked this up, but I couldn’t be happier. I love camping and haven’t done any since becoming a father. Camping is one of those experiences I wanted to bring to my son however, and eagerly awaited the day. As the weather hasn’t been very favorable over the last week or so, there was concern about thunderstorms. Amy also thought that it be best to spend a single night out instead of a weekend or longer. As all of this came together, we finally decided to just setup a tent in the backyard near a fire pit I built in the late winter.

It has been raining off and on over the last few days, so wood was damp and difficult to burn. He saw how difficult it was to get a fire going, and how after a while of trying, the materials had dried and caught. Amy had to go inside to cook on the conventional stove – still hot dogs, however – but eventually the fire started up and looked like it would hold.

Then it started raining. The wind came in pretty fiercely and some low, rumbling thunder could be heard. There was also some minor lightning – the horizontal type, often behind the clouds. That was enough for Amy and she went in the house. Balthazar and I stayed out to brave the storm in the tent. As we were getting in, I spotted a baby snake moving through the grass. The boy got to watch as a young Copperhead slithered around to avoid the cat and eventually went under the tent. Not a good place for it, as a four-year-old in a tent is like a bull in a china shop. He was jumping all around and rolling even though I reminded him to try and not crush the snake. I hope it got away.

The trip was over by bedtime. Balthazar wanted to go back inside just before 10:00 when I told him it was time to go to sleep. I think he was hoping he could avoid having to go to sleep more than he wanted to leave the campsite. He said he had a great time anyway.

Unfortunately, it’s now been three days and the tent remains in the backyard. It rains about once a day and leaves the tent somewhat wet by the time I get home to do something about it. Oh well. At least it’s getting good and aired out for the first time in 10 years or so.

Overheard Conversation

Olaf — Mon, 02 Apr 2007 14:51:16 +0000

Last night I overheard Balthazar and Amy talking in the bathroom.

Amy: Oh! That’s a good looking poop.
Balthazar: Thanks!
Balthazar: That’s the daddy one, that’s the baby one, and that’s the mommy one.
Amy: Go tell daddy.
Me: (passing the bathroom) I hope the daddy one is huge.