Gradin.com » EAV

Lost and Found: 1 Grecian ‘Stache

Olaf — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 19:07:19 +0000

All of you will surely recognize the man on the left. His biblical image comes at you in all of its hair and puffy-shirtness like a thunder clap. Yanni stands as the hairiest, women-loving man I know [of]…though Hugh Jackman must be at the top of this game too! And on his right is the much subdued version of the eighties visage, also Yanni. When did this happen? No ‘stache to whisper its childhood stories to concert viewers. No curly locks of Grecian do to reveal the arcane secrets of musical composition. It’s a transitive state of Yanni’s image much in the same way we all saw Metallica shed their fettered styles of 80′s heavy metal.

So Yanni will be coming to Duluth in April at the Gwinnett thingy (Arena, perhaps?). I know most of my known world will simply abuse me verbally for going to a Yanni concert (which will actually be my third or fourth), but I couldn’t give a crap. If you’ve never seen one of these concerts, you really don’t know what you’re missing. It’s a phenomenal appreciation of the musical arts, internationally complete. I suppose many of you only like your music for its pop artist front [wo]man, but I really enjoy the instrumental musicality of it all. I would compare what Yanni conducts on his stages to that of the Cirque du Soleil band (on a small scale) and Dream Theater / Liquid Tension Experiment. You could draw comparisons with Phish and Wide Spread Panic. All of these bands have two things in common: they’re killer jam bands and composed of some very talented musicians.

Ill-Conceived Science

Olaf — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 18:39:44 +0000

I have heard this one before. It was once said that bumblebees were scientifically incapable of flight. Today’s future-potential piece of mythical folklore is that the pterodactyl was also incapable of flight. Katsufumi Sato has collected and assessed the data only to reveal nature’s secret to flight: “…the largest animal capable of soaring across the sky unaided could have weighed no more than 40kg (88lbs)…” Pardon my layman intellect in the matter, but that statement seems a bit…constraining. My meager interest in science has taught me, if nothing else, that nature cares little for restrictions. Say that natural flight is limited to an object under 100lbs. and the next thing you know, a flying hippopotamus sores over your freshly washed car. I just mean to demonstrate that nature is not seemingly bound by our attempt to mathematically explain it all. Or perhaps we are unaware of the math necessary to explain it. Besides, the pterodactyl did potentially exist for 186 million years – surely it evolved great wings for a reason and got some fly time in there. I also found great exception to this comment:

Prof Sato says animals heavier than 40kg would not be able to flap fast enough to stay aloft. This would explain why the wandering albatross weighs only 22 kg (46lbs).

I don’t think that Sato’s 40kg hypothesis is the reason the albatross weighs 22kg. I doubt Sato was consulted on the matter of albatross evolution when it came to weight considerations.

It’s just a wild scientific hypothesis, but it irritates me for some reason. Perhaps because the pterodactyl has always been somewhat of a hero to me – it’s the biggest creature ever to have ruled the skies and the idea of it amazes and frightens me simultaneously. Don’t go messing with my heroes, it’s just not cool!

Twitter Updates for 2008-09-04

Olaf — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 04:59:59 +0000

@thesneeze I do love the annual visit from the Tree Brain Fairy. It used to leave quarters. What happened? #

Twitter Updates for 2008-09-02

Olaf — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 04:59:59 +0000

@MEaves I didn’t see you in the DragonCon parade! What happened to you guys? Balthazar *loved* it anyway. #
@mdotadotx Got busted today by the wife for wearing linen after Labor Day. Maybe my wool fedora will make up for it. #

Twitter Updates for 2008-08-21

Olaf — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 04:59:59 +0000

@DinoRubble That volleyball match was awesome! 108 consecutive wins… #
@HamWithCam One donut hole? I had four rings, myself. Could have made it an Olympic breakfast if it weren’t for the bowl of cereal first! #
Congrats to a friend of mine. He’s back at work days after his first morotcycle crash. Having trouble moving around though. #
@MEaves What? You don’t just pick one out of your closet? #
Turns out, eating @ PTA night alone is lame. #

Twitter Updates for 2008-07-18

Olaf — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 04:59:59 +0000

Last preparations: leaving for Philly in the morning. #
Arrived in Philly and ready to go only 6 hours late! #

Top 5: Things You Wanted to Know About Me

Olaf — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 14:41:50 +0000

The meme is apparently now a lost word; used only by uncool dads and hipless (as in the lack of being hip) half-wits. I’m getting on in years, relatively speaking, and am inclined to use such lingo as to embarrass those who would be so easily offended.

For lack of better alternatives, I bring to you the current meme on my plate. Young whipper-snappers may be unfamiliar with this word, but it is essentially an Internet chain-letter. Spazzmanda passed this on to me from her blog, where she refers to such activities as “tagging.” I always thought that was a cultural art of defacement by way of graffiti, but what does an old fart like me know.

The Rules: Rules are posted at the beginning. At the end of the post, the player tags 5 people and posts their names. Then the player goes to each of the “named” people’s blogs and leaves a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged and asking them to read your blog. If you’ve been tagged, you do the same, letting the person who tagged you know when you’ve posted your answer. Your answer, of course, is the answer to the following questions. Here we go!

1. What was I doing 10 years ago? One decade ago I was two months from my 2nd wedding anniversary with my lovely wife, Amy. We had no children, though we had pets. We were in our first year at our first house together (and current house). Amy was still in school at North Georgia College and State University (though it may not have been a State University at the time), and I was working for…Whittman-Hart, perhaps. I was a consultant beginning to cut my teeth on information systems security. It would be my primary job and objective for the next several years. I registered gradin.com for the first time – it was a standard 2-year registration and cost me $70.00 (I think my last registration was $8.95 for a year). I was finally able to access my awesome Mindspring account web space using my rocking X2 US Robotics Sportster (externel) modem via www.gradin.com. I was working in Allaire’s Cold Fusion, though I couldn’t afford a license for the server to host my own site using their technology. I used Allaire’s Homesite as my primary editor with Photoshop and Fractal Painter as my graphics packages. I think I was trying to get onto Bellsouth’s xDSL beta program, but with no luck due to my distance from the carrier. I was, however, involved with Wachovia’s beta online account access. It was a glorified BBS – awesome!

2. What are 5 things on my to-do list today? I’ve got ESX hosts to convert to 3.5i, installable. SAN storage to attach, and VMs to migrate both through traditional migrations, as well as the new and improved Storage VMotion. I also have some process proposal documentation to get done for the collected efforts of the Norcross lab engineering team, as well as that of our Hillsboro office. I hope to get some ping-pong in at lunch, ride my bike 10 miles back to my car, and then facilitate a drum circle for 100 people in northeast Georgia with some friends.

3. Snacks I enjoy: Have you tried my nuts? They’re salty and dimensionally variant. I enjoy the texture especially, though others are just happy I am able to share – there’s more than enough for everyone to enjoy! I also like beef jerky and granola bars.

4. Places I’ve lived: I’ve had a good spread in my life, though as of late my homestead has been very static. I began in Ocean Springs, MI; moved to Plano, TX, and then jumped to San Diego, CA shortly thereafter. We moved a couple of times there, but finally moved out the state to Tuscon, AZ. From there, we departed for Waycross, GA, and then onto Gainesville, GA where I live now. I’ve moved several times throughout both of these places in Georgia, and I’ve been here the longest amount of time so far.

5. Things I would do if I were a billionaire: This is actually the title of a post I’ve been working on for a while now. It’s a recurring theme throughout our decade+ of marriage, and one that will most likely continue to develop and mature in time. The most boring thing I think of from our list is to pay-off debt and acquire some commercial real estate to lease. There’s money accumulation prospects in that, so we would do well to set ourselves for the inevitable loss of said billions through the frivolous purchases from our list. There are two more intriguing opportunities: 1) Develop a waterfront district on Lake Lanier – a boardwalk with shops and dining – that aids in the lake’s restoration efforts, as well as providing some awareness about the lake’s ecosystem. 2) Convert an old mill on the outskirts of town into a turn-of-the-century arts and crafts guild. History tells us that these guilds are mere congregations of passionate people in the arts and crafts and generally have no ability to sustain themselves financially.

5 “Tagged”

Reading Boy

Olaf — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 21:54:30 +0000

My son, at nearly 5 years of age, is big into the whole good vs. evil concept. He loves superheroes, Star Wars, and nearly every incarnation of fictional character one can imagine serving one of the aforementioned roles; good or evil. We played “superheroes” most of the day, Sunday. I was “The Oxidizer,” or “Flame Boy” as Balthazar preferred. Mommy had a lot of work to do, but she was “Shower Girl” before leaving that morning for the studio. The boy is apparently schizophrenic, and went between a lot of different characters and roles. One such role was “Hanger Boy.” It’s not what you think – it could have been a gruesome depiction of a nefarious creature that can perform a lynching with jerking hand motion. But no. “Hanger Boy” had the wonderful power of shooting hangers out of his hands at you. They could hurt you, what with the dangerous hook on the top. His hangers were particularly useful in that their internal dimension was apparently discontiguous with our own. Getting caught by one of these weapons would very likely remove you from this plane of existence. I presume that it deposited you into a random closet throughout the Universe. You could end up in Narnia, a stinky foot locker, or the deniable state of homosexuality. It’s a tricky weapon, really. There was another interesting personality in that little head of his too. “Reading Boy.” Amy was impressed by this one. She thought he might have the power of absorbing Great Expectations with joy and fervor. Able to recite drab poetry into the numbed minds of his foes! Alas, “Reading Boy” was not what we thought. Balthazar says, “I read you, buddy. Do you read me?” with his hand brought to his mouth, Dick Tracey-style.

Gävlebocken (The Gävle Goat)

Olaf — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 18:27:39 +0000

In a small city north of Stockholm, 5,000 onlookers welcome a giant Goat as it is unveiled each year around Yule. For several decades now, the Gävle Goat has made a historical mark in Gävle history as it is either sacrificed or spared during the Winter.

In 1969 the goat was burned on New Year’s Eve.

In 1970 the first goat burned six hours after it was erected. Two heavily intoxicated youths were tied to the crime. With contributions from several donors, the goat was rebuilt, this time of reeds.

In 1971 the local merchants who had previously built the goat abandoned the project, tired of seeing it burn each year. The science association at the Vasaskolan upper secondary school took over. Their little goat was broken to pieces.

In 1972 the goat collapsed due to sabotage.

It’s a Guiness Book record holder – probably for all times, but I haven’t checked that factoid out. I love the idea of a massive, miscellaneous craft project brought to local cheers and jeers. It’s unclear to me how the whole thing got started back in 1966, but it’s town tradition now that triumphs through all manner of abuse. I mentioned to a friend of mine in Sweden that my family should start our own goat (Gradinbocken) to display at the house and arouse further suspicions that we were…off. He pointed out that anyone late to that party may not notice something as obvious as a 1,300lb straw goat either. Still, it’s a worthy venture I think! Anyone want to start a Gainesville tradition? Maybe a Godzilla-sized chicken would be more appropriate…

The Lone Ranger

Olaf — Mon, 29 Oct 2007 19:10:45 +0000

We have now officially fallen to a distant 2nd for Balthazar’s adoration. My mother gave him the gift of a lifetime – somewhat inadvertently – yesterday. She had been at a dog party where the requirement was to dress up your animals for Halloween. Among hers, she had some cowboy and villain paraphernalia that fell into the hands of one 4-year-old on the farm. Balthazar must have nearly vibrated into hysteria at his luck. He’s all boy, and as such, enamored by all things weaponry and heroic. I’ll have to get a picture on this post as soon as I can; he describes himself as “Cowboy Superhero.” His garb consists of two side shooter cap guns, the belt with holsters, sun glasses (Power Ranger), a cape, and a Sheriff’s star. Oh, he also has hand-cuffs which – thank you mom – are metal and rather painfully slapped onto the wrists. They’re not even useful for cuffing the boy to a hand railing while I go and take a nap – he can wriggle out of them at their tightest setting.

With the power of the Internet, I was able to demonstrate to this superhero that his act has already been done and he has a more proper name, “The Lone Ranger.” He didn’t have a cape, but he had a horse named Silver and sported a red neckerchief (thank you, dear, for the proper term). We watched some opening scenes of the old shows; I learned that there was a cartoon series as well. Then we found this…

I have either destroyed the fantasy of the Lone Ranger forever, or made an enduring memory that will always leave him thinking wistfully of the masked hero of yesteryear. Either way, we both laughed our asses off!