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Why my hip-hop posse would include Johnny 5

Olaf — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 18:14:06 +0000

Johnny 5
The founder of the Flobots, Johnny 5 builds a repertoire of songs that have a voice communicated through masked patriotism for a nation we do not know. I don’t do lyrics, so I’d need someone to help put together some potent rap-styled slander.

Zack de la Rocha
A current collaborating member, Zack de la Rocha, of One Day as a Lion. Zack has a well-known history of anger-infused music enraged by kick-your-pathetic-ass rock. Zack can excite things while still maintaining the credibility of legitimate hatred.

Justin Timberlake
To balance out the party, Justin Timberlake can hang with us. This dude lives a life of fame and doesn’t take himself too seriously. Timberlake is good for comix relief while still cranking out albums that, while not necessarily my demographic, continue to amass the fans.

A Drum Circle Arrangement of “Galang”

Olaf — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 16:00:54 +0000

I’m imagining some possible scenarios where I could lead a drum circle into a sort of performance. Most facilitated drum circles enter into spontaneous or random rhythms and are then led to compose the music. I would really like to lead people (sometimes naively) into known songs. There’s an extra sense of excitement when you realize you’re playing an actual song. Even if you don’t know the song, being led through a composed set of rhythms is very rewarding! I spent about 10 minutes this morning and worked out the basic rhythms within M.I.A.’s “Galang.” It’s a fun piece of music if you haven’t heard it (YouTube link provided below). My intention in recreating it for a drum circle is not to play the song succinctly, but rather to have all the parts present and accounted for. When and for how long each part plays is up to the facilitator. If the groove is held well, someone could play the voice part through a solo drum!

Drum Circle Arrangement, Galang: [See post to access streaming content!]

M.I.A., Galang (emebedding not allowed)

As a Multi-Millionaire…

Olaf — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 21:49:11 +0000

My wife and I like to think strategically about our future. Planning and foresight can save you a lot of grief and work in earnest.

In the event that we should become multi-millionaires in the future, we want to make sure we know what we’re going to do with the money. The following is an ongoing list of major things on our list:

Establish a Commune

And by commune, you have to understand my interpretation of the word. The usual ideas just don’t cut it – my idea of a modern commune is little more than a community of friends living in close proximity, each generally having some arcane talent. Other than that, everybody maintains their own job. The added benefit is that you have a community of actual friends in close proximity to help with things. Think about some of these nicer neighborhoods going up that include parks and community facilities like a club house or picnic area. That’s where the millions of dollars come in – someone has to pony up the money to put it together.

Establish an Olde World Arts and Crafts Guild

Look into America’s early years after the Declaration of Independence. As was popular in Europe, guilds popped up all over the place. Funny thing was, they never seemed to last. The guilds cranked out some epic-level work, but rarely made the profit needed to keep the their doors open. The Industrial Revolution was what put them out completely. Mechanized art, while not for the purists, was the way of the future and a clear winner in the end. Revival after revival, it was only when the the passion was washed out by insufficient funds that the guilds closed their doors. An arts and crafts guild would work today, but only if I could poor money into it endlessly.

Create an Elderly Care Facility that Cares

Most elderly care facilities – the ones that the average senior citizen could afford – are clever facades on the same old song and dance. There are too many horror stories to count as you look across the gamut and research their “customer appreciation.” A big reason for this is funding. The hired help is majority volunteer, public service workers, or minimum wage. When you’re not paying well, it’s hard to attract good help, but that’s just what you need.

My wife is the one with real passion for this one. She would love to pour many into a retirement home that is treated more like a spa than assisted living. It would have to be a non-profit venture with backing. The key is to rally support within the area communities, government, and of course, mad money.

Build the Lake Lanier Boardwalk District

How cool would it be to have a boardwalk district on Lake Lanier? I envision long wooden decking, boat slips, a beach, and fantastic night life and retail shopping. There should be bars with karaoke, an outdoor stage, a gallery, and much more. Normally, this kind of thing wouldn’t need so much money to keep it up, but I think I’d have to pay off the Corps. of Engineers a hefty sum to allow it!

Create a Seafood/Freshwater Fish Restaurant on the Lake

Along with that whole boardwalk idea, you have to have some big foundations. I purpose a fish restaurant out on the water. It would be awesome to have its center piece being a large circle of the lake with underwater lights and sub-level glass for viewing. Above that, have two to three stories encircling the “aquarium” for diners to look down upon. There is some real opportunity to make a case for the environmental concerns surrounding the lake in a venue like this.

Build an Irish Pub

Another permanent resident of the boardwalk should be a good old-fashioned Irish pub. If you know of McGuire’s in Pensacola, then your thinking along the same lines. Good food (or bad, but traditional!) and drinks. These relics of America’s past have always been places of fun and festivity.

Zune 30 Pandemic

Olaf — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 16:03:19 +0000

Oh, good grief! I awoke this morning to find my Zune in a less than pleasing way. I was concerned that the number of times I’ve dropped the device had finally caught up with me and I was paying the ultimate price. However, I decided to check out what was being said online about this problem – perhaps it’s something Microsoft can service. What do I find? A pandemic of global proportions effecting only Zune 30 users. It sounds like it’s related to a date bug in the device, but it has yet to be answered by Microsoft. Some have hope that normal operation will resume tomorrow, when the date resolves firmly to day 1 of 365. I’m not holding my breath. The timing couldn’t be worse as we’re heading off for a short vacation tomorrow. If neither mine nor my wife’s Zune won’t work, I’ll be sorely disappointed.

I had thought this might be a good excuse to buy an upgrade to the newer generation Zune 80 or 120, but I’d have to find my place all over again in the current audiobook I’m listening to (“The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo”). Arrrrgh!

Search around on the net and you’ll find no shortage of complaints and Microsoft bashing surrounding this recent development. It’s a sad day, and ironic one too. I had just poked fun at a friend recently who bought an iPod without thinking of the alternative. To be fair, however, had she bought a current model Zune, she’d be unaffected by the problem.

*UPDATE* Microsoft has released a statement regarding the Zune 30 bug that hit all of us this morning. They’re essentially telling everyone to wait until tomorrow morning to turn on the Zune. As of 7:00am for Eastern timezone folks, your Zune will magically begin working again; almost ass mysteriously as it stopped.

Though it’s not in their official release, the problem is most likely due to a bug in its ability to handle a leap year, which 2008 qualified. The idea being that a leap year has around 366 days instead of the usualy 365. As of January 1st, Greenwich Meantime, the device will be back on 1 of 365 – and working. It’s a logical solution, but a very unfortunate goof for the Zune hardware team. Maybe we’ll get a coupon toward the purchase of a new generation Zune in the mail for our trouble (ahem…are you listening, Zune team)!

Musings for the week of 2008-12-29

Olaf — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 04:59:59 +0000

Tomorrow is Christmas – the 5-year-old is starting to vibrate. #
Balthazar just called the clock a “time machine.” Fitting, really. #
I hate cats at Christmas – they break your ornaments! #
Merry Christmas! #
I got the Zoom H2 field recorder! You can expect to hear some live drumming in the future. #

A Comment on the Weather

Olaf — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 05:00:02 +0000

I got a Christmas card from the nice folks at the World Wide Fund for Nature (WWF) – the Climate Witness division. You may recall the article I wrote for them concerning the pitiful state of Lake Lanier (speaking of which, the scientific review of my story is now available). The card reminded me of the potential relevance of our recent confusing weather. Only one week before winter and the northeastern region of Georgia was coming in at highs of 70°F. Today marks the first official day of winter, but it actually arrived in a forced gust of cold wind yesterday. We went from muggy days in the high 60′s to the sudden shock of sub-freezing temperatures Sundays afternoon. By Monday morning, we were in the low 20′s and all remaining signs of water in the streets had frozen solid. There was as much as a 50° shift from last week to this in one day. Is this an aspect of climate change, or just a strange time in the history of our weather? We’re not supposed to realize climate change marked in the passage of a few days or even years, but I can’t help but notice things with a new perspective.

Anyway, I’m still not sitting around the house watching the weather channel, though it may sound like it at the moment. Regardless of the ridiculous weather, we have taken opportunities to enjoy the arrival of winter, officially. We spent most of the day at Stone Mountain yesterday in the Christmas Village. Despite the cold wind, a bundled family – and several hundred others – managed to persevere and blow a wad of money enjoying the spirit of the holiday. We took in the lights, sounds, and smells of sweets, a parade, and cheesy stage shows.

Scientist Poop and the Epic Fail

Olaf — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 15:42:51 +0000

Our son recently contracted Streptococcus within his person. We’re all familiar with such things, but the signs of this particular infection alluded us. We knew he had a stomach ache, but little else. The stomach ache became chronic and Balthazar the harbinger used is poo oracle to let us know something was truly wrong. We found out later in the week that Balthazar had experienced several “Scientist Poops,” which turns out to be what the slow-minded adults refer to as “diarrhea.” I asked Balthazar why he called it this, and he simply said it was because it “looked like Scientist.” I still don’t really know what this means, though I imagine any hopes that he may one day become a brilliant scientist are now futile.

In a completely unrelated story…

Humans give off subtle signs of emotional and physical wellness through involuntary interactions of the psyche. Some of these things manifest themselves as physical aberrations, though primarily they go unnoticed by all but the most well-attuned.

My lovely wife, mother of our two children, gave me these subtle signs recently in a way that could not go unnoticed. At some ungodly hour of the wee, my wife woke me with slurring speech to notify me of my duty for the baby girl in the house. She had been working late that night, and had probably only just gotten to sleep an hour earlier when Sorscha woke her. I took on the charge with no questions. When I reached for Sorscha, I found that she was rather soaked, as well as the pad she lay upon. During these cold nights, her pajamas take the form of what’s known as a Sleep Sack. It’s a wonderful invention in which you simply bag your child in a zipped enclosure and allow them to steam gently in their own moisture. Some (ours) include the ever-helpful swaddling wrap that Velcros tightly around the child so as to prevent escape and recognition as anything but a human-faced grub. When I opened her sack, I found that she was completely naked and a loose diaper was balled-up in the corner of her little sauna. It was as if the changing included such activities as:

Open zipped-enclosure
Toss in diaper and seal tightly
Gently shake to activate absorption.

Needless to say, I performed the cleanup, fed her, and reintroduced her to a drier version of her bed.

And the message was well-received that my wife was rather beyond simply being “tired.” Sleep deprivation can do some interesting things to a person, but thankfully humans have an innate method by which these things can be communicated.

The Horrors of the Obama Administration

Olaf — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 16:55:18 +0000

This week’s “The Pain” comic tells the story – probably from my area of the world – of Obama’s election. When I first perused it, I had assumed Mr. Kreider was not a fan of Obama. For this one, you need to read the Artist’s statement which raises the comic wit.

…watching Obama’s luminous acceptance speech, hearing him say to all those who had bitterly fought his election what I could never have imagined Bush saying to me and my friends—“I hear your voices, I need your help, and I will be your President too”…Yes, I thought, magnanimous in victory: donuts for all. Seeing our first black president, that science-fiction trope for The Future, become a reality, I felt the way people must have felt the night men first walked on the moon.

“The Pain–When Will It End?” is a satirist web-column generally focused on political fodder and social follies. The artist, Tim Kreider, is well-known in his industry and a seasoned veteran of political cartoons. Seasoned with paprika and cumin, presumably; based upon his caustic wit. I’m a fan of the spices. I don’t always get the joke, but then I don’t put a lot of time into politics either.

A Baby Changes Everything

Olaf — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 21:48:20 +0000

Remarkably, the biggest change at the Gradin household is simply in our perception. There are all sorts of things that change when a new child is born into your family. Your free time dries up, your bank account empties, you become more selfless. But when you already have an older child, the thing we noticed was that the older child stopped being a baby in our eyes. I never realized how big he was – how big his hands were. It’s harder to carry him sleeping into his bed at night. This new addition, so small and defenseless, makes us realize in ways you can’t truly convey to anyone that she’s the only baby in the house. Perhaps Balthazar became “our first child.” Even though he’s only five years old, I sense that he’s more in charge of his destiny and in self discovery now. Sorscha, on the other hand, seems to have so much more malleable potential tied up in her.

I’m doing my best to ensure that I don’t lose sight of the treasures still to come in our first-born while our attention is diverted to this little girl. It can be a struggle keeping up with everything at home while still making time for me and Balthazar to play the games we used to play. Easing that, he’s recently really gotten into board games. I can keep an eye (and ear) on Sorscha while we play board games without being too distracted to give him my attention. It’s also easier to allocate this time, as our outside time has been cut short for the coming winter.

This experience of having our second child – some 5 years apart from our first – has given us new wisdom that I feel one can only gain through life.

One cannot fully appreciate what happens to the being at the birth of your first child. You undergo a transformation unlike anything before or after that moment. I remember seeing a baby born vaginally when I was an adolescent, and the experience gave me some spine-tingling chills that hinted at this fact. When we had our first child, the internal shift from my awareness of self: man, husband, child, protector, supplier, etc., went spiraling around and may have momentarily just been forgotten. It didn’t matter anymore. The thing I remember most – and perhaps something that sums up a great deal of this feeling – is that I lost my sense of invulnerability. Perhaps it’s passed on to the next generation – much to a parent’s chagrin.

Now at the birth of our second child, we see the real development of our first. Less of the initial surge of fatherhood that fills you, though a new awareness of everything that can’t be ignored.

I really mean to say that there are some lessons in life that we’re taught, but can never be appreciated until experienced. You were told that you’d one day look back at your school days and realize you were having the time of your life. You’re told that a child will change you. I’ve heard that time flies as you get older. “One day you’ll understand…” All of these things go unheeded as our elders press them into our heads. Being at the crossroads of naivety and understanding, I want to impart a sort of enlightenment to those behind me on the path. But who am I kidding? I’m just saying the same thing…

Smallest, and Newest Member of the Empire’s Finest

Olaf — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 04:21:19 +0000

Guess who has the coolest costume on the block? Balthazar does! His best (and only) Uncle-figure went all out and got together a suit of youth Storm Trooper gear for Balthazar this year. He’s been working on it for a while now and it’s finally finished. Sunday, he brought it over and we had an event of fitting it to him. It took all day of Jeff sitting on a partially constructed floor in our garage fitting, grinding, shaping, and gluing PVC armor components for a perfect fit. Balthazar was a real trooper and went back and forth for component fittings the whole time. He was so excited about it, I don’t think he even noticed the minor discomfort of ill-fitted plastic pieces. After hours of labor, the costume was finally ready for him and by dinner he was able to dance around the house in his new Storm Trooper costume. The whole thing is constructed exactly the same as the screen-accurate versions adults where. All the details are there, though he’ll need a smaller blaster to fit the scale issue a bit better. Jeff and I are going to try and throw together the remaining Star Wars costumes this Halloween to take him out on the town. I’ll be Chewbacca, Jeff might be C-3PO, and we’ll have the littlest Storm Trooper ever. It ought to be a hoot! We’ve got to hit every spot in town possible to get full use out this before he out grows it…in a week! Actually, there should be enough material for him to grow into it a year or two. After that, we’ll have to make a fancy display of it on a little mannequin.

Oh man, he’s going to have a real ball at Halloween this year!